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I Want to Face My Demons
AW! / Evening / Just Nay sulking

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Nayomi is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Nayomi Slash-GNR
 

She didn’t want to come. Nay just wanted to go to the mountains. That was what they had planned in the beginning. It was the whole fricken point Nayomi got attacked in the first place. If Icarus and Aksel didn’t want to go to the mountains, the. She wouldn’t have asked Tiberius. Icarus even said he would go with her… so did Aksel. What a stupid mess they started.

Why did they want to go home to nothing but ruins anyway? Icarus had Aksel… He had family. Nayomi had no family. No… never would anyone care for her again. She had been used by Tiberius. She was abandoned by her parents. The girl had only sacrificed things she had planned for others, and now they were here for nothing.

Nayomi bet that they all thought her weak now. She bet they thought she was trying to get away from her demons. No… She wanted to conquer them. The female wanted to be a leader, strong and confident. However, Icarus seemed to be taking over this whole project. She only went with them because she knew Icarus didn’t want to split up the group.

The girl growled as she kicked the ground with her paw and sat down.


Nov 06, 2017 02:21 PM

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169992
Name Player
Icarus Dusk Madison
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(i love nay ;_; )

While he encouraged his friends to rest - especially Ross - Icarus was keeping himself busy running around the labyrinth, reacquainting himself with the place he once called home. It wasn’t too difficult for him to remember the paths; some of them were overgrown, but most were still trodden through the brush, likely traveled by wolves other than those that once belonged to the Order. While he could understand the place had been uninhabited, the thought still made him uncomfortable.

In any case, he’d been busy leaving his scent around the edges of the labyrinth, half out of habit and half to ward off visitors, intending to keep his friends safe. As he ventured back inward to the labyrinth, he spotted a familiar figure through the trees. Nayomi. Alone. What was she doing out here?

“Nay?” he spoke, grinning as he turned his trajectory towards her. Completely oblivious to the fact that he was probably the last person she wanted to see. But Icarus never was all that smart. “Whatcha doin’?”


Nov 06, 2017 02:33 PM — Post #1

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169995
Nayomi is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Nayomi Slash-GNR
 

Nayomi was “enjoying” the time by herself. Being able to sulk, it felt nice. However, she wanted someone to vent to as anger bubbled up within her. She couldn’t do that with Aksel… Specially not Icarus… but Ross… May be. She wasn’t sure what his views were. He seemed to be neutral.

A voice rang in her ears. Icarus. That stupid, stupid boy… why did he have to come here… now? While she was so infuriated with him? Nay shorted as a growl mumbled out of her clenched jaws. She shot her head up as if she had just been insulted.

What was she doing, he asked. Hating on you… would have been the simple and easier thing to say, but she wasn’t that cruel. “Figuring stuff out,” she said through a gravely voice. She was trying not to growl at him… even though he was the reason of her mental torment.


Nov 06, 2017 02:39 PM — Post #2

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169998
Name Player
Icarus Dusk Madison
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Icarus came closer, because from the distance he noticed her, he hadn’t detected any reason not to. And then she answered him, and her voice sounded kinda tired, and it made him wonder off-hand if she’d gotten enough sleep. His brows cocked with worry as he stopped a couple meters away, tail swaying amicably.

“Anything I can help with?” he offered, still smiling. Ever helpful, he was. But he needed to take care of his friends. Protect them. Keep them happy. He had brought them all the way here, after all. He owed it to them for going with him.


Nov 06, 2017 02:48 PM — Post #3

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170003
Nayomi is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Nayomi Slash-GNR
 

Shoot… why couldn’t he just see she was not in a good mood and just go away? Nay really didn’t want to hurt Icarus in anyway, but he was really close to making her snap. She risked her fricken life for him! Them! And he changed the plan like nothing she did mattered. These thoughts cycled through her mind.

Words… He spoke again. Just… just shut up Icarus if you value your face. Nayomi had a lot of patience for all three males this trip which was very unusual for her. This wasn’t like her… to be so laid back and patient. She was holding back what she wanted to say and it was hurting her.

“No…” She said through gritted teeth. “Wait… how bout you explain why my life doesn’t matter to you?” She asked. There was the hint of a growling undertone. The girl still didn’t look at Icarus… but her muscles were tense.


Nov 06, 2017 02:56 PM — Post #4

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170008
Name Player
Icarus Dusk Madison
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(*gasp* draAaAaAamaaa)

Slowly, ever so slowly, he came to realize that her body language was not as friendly as he remembered it usually was. She looked tense. And she said, at first, there was nothing he could help with, and he was half a second away from asking if something was wrong when she gave him that very answer.

She wanted to know why her life didn’t seem to matter to him.

Alarmed, and very much with a flutter of panic, Icarus gasped and widened his eyes. “Wha - Nayomi, of course it does! You matter to me! You matter a lot to me! You’re my friend, w-we’re friends!”

Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod.

WHERE DID THIS COME FROM.

“Did I do something?” he asked quickly, flattening his ears.


Nov 06, 2017 03:15 PM — Post #5

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170011
Nayomi is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Nayomi Slash-GNR
 

Nayomi half wanted to hear his response but also wanted to bite him and let him run off. Gosh, so much fury surged within her. The girl wanted to let it out. Thrash and bite at something… someone.

Her ears perked as he replied. How dare he say that when his actions didn’t match up! The woman bit her lip. “You… you… of course you did something!” She growled. “Your actions sure ain’t acting like we are friends. I risked my life to let you go with me to the mountains… and when I almost got killed, you want to change the course. I said ok because I knew you didn’t want our group to split up…” She said, narrowing her amber eyes. “I said yes because I wanted you and aksel to be happy. Ross didn’t seem whether we went to space for all he cared,” she ended.

He probably wouldn’t even understand. Things didn’t seem to get through his mind easily. Nay just wanted to scream and cry… crying would be nice, but she didn’t want the boys thinking her any less of them. Of course, there was more to her anger than what she said, but her words would do for now.


Nov 06, 2017 03:24 PM — Post #6

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170017
Name Player
Icarus Dusk Madison
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Oh, oh god, she was really angry. Really super angry. Like, to the point where he was completely dumbfounded that she would even have the capacity to feel so strongly for him like that. Angry. At him. Guilt surged and swelled up inside him like a timid, yellow tide.

She explained just why she felt that way, nad it seemed, it was because of his desires to come to the labyrinth. Even though she had acted like it was totally okay. Because if she let him know it wasn’t, he would have tried to compromise. But she didn’t. But it wasn’t her fault. She was just being nice. It was his fault for being so stubborn and selfish. Damnit! He knew this would come back around and bite him in the ass!

“I’m so sorry, Nayomi. I never meant it to come off that way. I was - I was just worried, I didn’t want to put anyone in danger! That guy just about messed you up. Tiberius, he - he’s a bad guy! I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if he got a hold of you. Or Aksel, or Ross. I just - I’m sorry, Nayomi. I - I - I just wanted you to be safe,” he babbled, a sharp whine coming up through his words as he shrank.

Shit. If only he’d known better.


Nov 06, 2017 03:50 PM — Post #7

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170019
Nayomi is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Nayomi Slash-GNR
 

He explained his point of view. It didn’t sway her very much. “I wanted to stay with the plan because if I said I wanted to go to a different place… I… I was afraid y’all would think me weak” she paused. “You don’t realize how lucky you are Icarus. You have a home to go back to. You have wolves that are your family… I… I don’t” she frowned. Her eyes were starting to water now. Don’t you dare Nayomi.

“You have Aksel. He is your family… someone from your past that has found his way into your present. That will never happen to me” she stated with a firm tone. Icarus didn’t seem to understand. They didn’t have to come here. He had all he needed right by his side and he barely spent time with him. He was always with… Ross. Nayomi couldn’t fit in could she? Icarus had become the leader… The role she wanted to prove she could hold. He was always a step ahead of her in helping. It was like torture to her… She felt as if she wasn’t wanted. The girl was only there to look at… nothing more nothing less. She was the only female in the group… It made since, right? Had she not built this group but received no power over it?


Nov 06, 2017 04:03 PM — Post #8

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170024
Name Player
Icarus Dusk Madison
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If there was a way he could look any more sympathetic than he already did - with his upturned eyebrows and small frown and eyes gleaming with worry - he would have done so. Unfortunately, it didn’t work like that. His dumb face could only look so sad and sorry.

At her explanation, he sucked in a breath and shook his head, scooting closer. Not close enough to make contact - he was still a good couple meters away - but with the desire to be closer, to comfort her. But she was mad. So he couldn’t. Man. This was tough. And then she brought up that he had a home. And she didn’t. That he had Aksel, and she’d never have anything like that. Icarus whined further, watching the way her eyes glistened.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, cursing himself for being a sympathetic crier. But he had to stay strong.

“No, Nay, I’ll never think you’re weak. You faced Tiberius. Alone. You - you’re right, you did risk your life! For us. And that makes you strong,” he urged, taking another step closer. “The only reason I have this is because… this… this is where it began. But I’ve been places where I don’t have what I have here. I - I’m grateful for what I have, but I don’t want you or anyone to feel like they can’t have it either.”

His mind was spinning. He probably wasn’t even saying the right thing. He didn’t know how to make girls feel better. Oh god. Why were they like this? Wait, no. Boys were like this too. He could be like this. Oh my god, it didn’t matter. She was upset. He had to fix it.

“I’m sorry, Nay, I really am. But I consider you my friend. All three of you. But you - if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have even found Aksel in the first place. If you didn’t help Ross, he’d be somewhere else, in worse condition than he already is in. You - you’re so important to us, to me, Nayomi. Maybe we’re not family. But we’re friends. And… I don’t know what you think about it, but to me… that’s just about the same.”


Nov 06, 2017 04:30 PM — Post #9

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170034
Nayomi is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Nayomi Slash-GNR
 

Now he was getting sappy. Nay probably would too if it weren’t for her terrible mood. She just wanted to snuggle and cuddle.. like she used to when she was young. Her yearn for affection had driven her to this point. The girl wanted to be wanted… needed, yet whenever someone said they wanted her… She didn’t believe. Her parents abandoned her. They said they would be gone for a short while, and they left her. They died without her consent, or at east she thought they died.

“No… I was foolish and weak. I let myself get tricked by Tiberius because… because..” She trailed off as a tear slowly trickled down her cheek. She hated this… having to say what she felt. Specially, to those she cared the most about what they thought about her.

Ross… She wanted to curl up next to him. He wouldn’t like it though. He seemed to be the only wolf here who was most like her. He had no home or family, right? He was alone like her. How terrible it was to be a girl… when something so simple that could be said… started to form tears and yelling… stupid hormones.

“What are you looking for… what do you want in life?” She asked suddenly. Nay didn’t understand why he wanted to come back to ruins when he had someone alive from his past next to him.

Ross… “is… is Ross ok?” She asked with a worried tone. Her eyebrows furrowing. “I noticed his face looked horrible. I want…ed to help, but you probably beat me to that as well…” She stated. A rather cold and unfeeling sentence. He was the leader and he beat her to help others. She had done nothing but from this group… no power… no good deeds. Nay felt as if Ross was her responsibility… hers… She had helped him first and saved his life. She wanted to continue to help him. She wanted a purpose.


Nov 06, 2017 05:06 PM — Post #10

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170053
Name Player
Icarus Dusk Madison
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Icarus pursed his lips as she went on, insisting that she was foolish and weak, and he could understand why, really. He could. It was easy to fall for the traps of older wolves. He’d learned long ago that older wolves liked to take advantage of youth. They liked to think they were smarter and better in every way. He’d been duped a respectful amount of times by those who claimed to know better than him, but he was wise to their tricks now. Anyone who acted like they were better than you simply because they were older was not worth listening to.

Seeing the tear roll down her cheek, he nearly grimaced, so badly did he want to get in close and wipe it away. It was her anger for him that kept him rooted. He wished he was confident enough to just get closer and hug her or something. Alas, he was still a dumb boy, afraid of girls and everything they could do.

But then she asked him a question. It threw him for a loop, leaving him floundering as he sought the answer, and then she moved on to ask about Ross. She must have noticed his infection too. And… said that he… beat her to helping him?

“He needs all our help,” Icarus said, shaking his head. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t help him too. He wasn’t the only one who could help - hell, Icarus hardly even knew what he was doing. He’d be grateful for somebody else to step in. “I gave him some herbs and cleaned his face, just, because I was worried. But honestly, he - he’d probably like it better if you helped him.”

Yeah. He was pretty sure Ross didn’t enjoy it at all when he licked his face clean.

“I just… that’s what I want, Nayomi. I want to help. I want… friends, and a family, and a pack. I want people to take care of and protect. I want to help Ross get better. I want to help Aksel remember. I want you… to be happy.”

He pinned his ears back with a sigh, shoulders falling.

“But if you want me to lay off, I will.”


Nov 06, 2017 06:17 PM — Post #11

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170056
Nayomi is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Nayomi Slash-GNR
 

Nay listened. When Icarus told her Ross needed everyone’s help she wanted to retort. No… He needed her help. She saved his life. He was her responsibility… not theirs, and she sure felt like she was failing at that job. The girl frowned.

He continued on. Icarus said he cleaned his face and her ears and head shot up. Nayomi snapped her head to the side as her fur bristled slightly. Cleaned it… as far as she knew water wasn’t going to get in the cracks and crevices where the infection was. Icarus had to… eww… Specially with two guys. It was like making out but with one only doing the licking. Nay thought it was nasty, but she also was a bit jealous. She would never admit it though.

Then her companion responded to her first question. “You and me both,” she side, “you and me both…” She said as her head hung now. Icarus then asked if she wanted him to go. “I… not forever… don’t go forever… but… I just.. n…. need some time” she said. “Get things straight” said Nayomi. The girl chuckled slightly as Icarus said Ross would have wanted her cleaning his face. “Nah, Ross don’t give a deer’s behind about me” she responded. Nay was never the kind to cuss or use foul language.


Nov 06, 2017 06:27 PM — Post #12

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170064
Name Player
Icarus Dusk Madison
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Icarus’ eyes widened at her sudden reaction after saying he’d cleaned Ross’ wounds. She seemed alarmed. If a little upset. His brows twinged slightly, but he didn’t say anything else about it, for fear of inciting her rage. Thankfully, she empathized with him when he spoke of his desires. You and me both. It made him feel a little better. If they shared a common goal, maybe that was something they could work toward.

She didn’t want him to go either, not forever, and that was okay because Icarus had a plan anyways. He nodded, offering her a small smile, and then when she chuckled about Ross not caring, he allowed himself to chuckle too. Okay. She was laughing now, kind of. This was progress. “We’ll see. You can lick all the grossness off his face next time,” he joked lightly. Carefully. Watching for any change in temperament.

“How about I go look for more herbs? I don’t think what we have is enough, so maybe you and Aksel can stay here, with Ross. Keep him safe and all that. And I’ll go find some more herbs. Maybe… someone who knows a bit more healing than I do,” he suggested, then quickly followed, “but tell me, if you don’t want that. Tell me and we can find a different way.”

He didn’t want to make the same mistake.


Nov 06, 2017 06:56 PM — Post #13

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170068
Nayomi is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Nayomi Slash-GNR
 

Nay bit her lip as there was silence. Had he really gone? No… his scent was still strong. Man, she was tired and mentally flushed. Icarus spoke about how she could clean Ross’s face next time. “I save you the pain,” she said with another chuckle.

Nayomi wanted to talk to Ross. Check on his face and ask about how he felt about the plan. How it was going so far.

Icarus continued on with another plan. He would get herbs and she could watch and take care of everyone else. Yes, that would be nice. A soft smile, but still weak formed upon her maw. “Yeah… that sounds like a good plan. I wanna talk to Ross anyway, so yeah… good plan,” she said now standing up.

The girl turned her body toward her friend as she heaved a sigh. Let all the negative anger out Nay, she told herself. Then she walked over to Icarus and gave him a lick on the cheek. “Sorry, I’m just stressed and confused is all… ill learn how to handle it better” she offered a tired smile.


Nov 06, 2017 07:04 PM — Post #14

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170083
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Icarus Dusk Madison
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He grinned even wider. Yes. She totally fell for it. Not that he was trying to trick her. He was just… trying to make her feel better, that’s all.

And, even better, she approved of the plan, admitting that she wanted to talk to Ross too. It was probably better for her to talk to him than Icarus, since Icarus was so terribly awkward and really had no idea how to do anything and he didn’t want to embarrass himself further in front of Ross. Nayomi seemed to have a good handle on things around him. So he was okay to take a step back.

Icarus didn’t move as she stood, though he was ready to turn, to walk, even back away if necessary. Instead, she came closer and gave him a lick on the cheek, and it was all he needed to feel a swell of warmth and pride and victory inside his chest. He playfully bumped her muzzle with his nose, smiling and wagging his tail. “You don’t need to apologize, I appreciate that we got to talk about it.”

As dumb and anxious and overly eager as he was, he liked to think he had a good head on his shoulders. He wanted to instill confidence and trust in all his friends, and so when he spoke, it was with sincerity. He’d rather they talk like this than harbor animosity for one another.

“Hey, you know… if we have a common goal, this whole… wanting a family, and a pack, and people to care for thing… we should work towards that. Together,” he said softly. His eyes flitted around the labyrinth, a place he felt so intrinsically attached to, a place he felt like he belonged. He wanted her to feel that way too. Maybe he was being selfish again. But… if she wanted a home, this was a place he knew, guaranteed, he could make into one. “I don’t know. Just think about it, I guess.”


Nov 06, 2017 07:39 PM — Post #15

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