(I’m placing this after Marzena’s death, but keeping it pretty vegue.)
Her paws had dragged her out of her comfy spot on a small hill. She had been spending more and more time out patrolling and hunting. The only thought in her mind was ‘protect’. She had pushed herself to the limit every day with the urge to protect those she cares about. Cygnus hadn’t spent a second thinking about anything else. Everything she had done was fueled by that burning desire. Yet, her body was giving out under her. Her fur was messy and unkept and while she was eating (only as much as she can stomach), she was losing fat a rather fast pace. Her figure was getting slimmer and slimmer. Her eyes had dulled and her face was paler than before. She looked ill. And that’s because, in a way, she was.
Her body had taken quite a lot and decided to retaliate by guiding her somewhere peaceful. The Shadowed Dell was one of her favourite spots in the entire valley. It was dim, peaceful, and mostly deserted. Her claws scrapped on the rock bellow as she slinked further inside the dell. And before she knew it, she was sitting beside a large rock. It was quiet, and apperantly, perfect to think. Cygnus should’ve seen it. Her own body turning on her. But no, she didn’t think to get up and distract herself, nor did any alarms go off when her thoughts began to wonder. It only occured to her when she remembered the recent passing of their Leader. And therefore, the passing of her own mother and disappearance of her father. The yearling sat there as the flod gates opened and everything hit her at once.
Her breaths were soon comming out in raspy waves. Her eyes brimmed with tears as her whole body trembled. Her legs felt weak and she suddenly felt the urge to vomit. Questions filled her head as her throat closed up. As she thought more and more her chest began to sting, and before long, it felt like a spike had been driven through it along with a burning sensation. It hurt. Oh god, it hurt. But she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t stop thinking about the what ifs and what had happened in the past. Nothing made sense and everything hurt. Everything hurt so much and she couldn’t. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t blink. She couldn’t BREATHE.
Only ragged breaths and a few whinnes filled the cave. Was she dying? No, this wasn’t dying. It was too much pain. Her lungs ached for air that she simply couldn’t suply. And her head! It throbbed and her ears rang. Cygnus was scared, confused and alone. She had no idea what was happening and it seemed to make it worse. Her thoughts ran wild as her head pounded and her senses were overflowing with awful feelings. All she could focuse on was her need to breathe. But that just made it worse too.
She looked about frantically with her eyes. She needed to breathe. She needed air! But, how? How! Her own body wanted her dead. She needed a distraction. Was that it? A distraction? She couldn’t find anything to focus on. Everything was too much. Why? Why couldn’t she make it stop? The yearling collapsed to the floor, now laying down. She was in pain. She was scared. She was confused. She was anxious. And worst of all, she was stuck with herself. With no way of distracting herself she simply waite. Just as she had done before and will continue to do. After all, she didn’t have a choice in the matter.
Mar 13, 2018 08:22 PM
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