Tomas could feel the weight of so much, too much even on his chest. The dark male didn’t want to have to deal with the consequences of the countless choices they had made. He didn’t want to have to see the look to see the graves that marked the Empire’s grounds. Like some morbid riddle, they had succumbed to such torment over the course of a year.
And now things were changing. Changing for the better, well, he couldn’t say that. With a marked explanation that the one woman he had been entertaining bringing about change to his life had suddenly announced her own change. The change in the form of not only choosing not to pursue them (and that, as it seemed, unfortunately, was how it was going to be - he wasn’t fooling himself to thinking about needing to travel, even being able to travel a week at time for a day or afternoon with her - as much as he found his heart hurting. He just didn’t know what to do.
Staring, idly, at the graves of the wolves, he didn’t know he found some kinship with them. This was fucking insane, the last thing that she would have wanted. What Nima would have wanted. It was why the pressure on his mind was to fight against the arrogance, but it wasn’t so simple.
He still had to deal with June, and now he supposed it was looking like a bit more of an option. What about Kaska? Perhaps she’d warm his growing lonely heart.
But all he could see when he stared at the direct was the thought of Esme, the thought of her smiling as she came toward him and offered some sweetness on her tongue; the point that the acceptance would come out of her lips as he murmured that his affection was still building up toward her - and he was ready.
Everything he had been ready to start leaning toward, to only falter and be smooshed beneath her words. He blamed himself. He should have lied, should have said he’d give her pups - then maybe she would’ve wanted him. At least for a little while. Even if it hadn’t been… honest. Even if it was never love.
This was fucking stupid. How the hell had he ended up here?
Jun 21, 2018 03:18 PM
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