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Just give me one more chance to make it right
Verdant Hills | Early winter | Evening | clear but cold | Ever howling for Theo

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Seeker Chris Staff
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Just a trail. Just one sign, a pawprint, a tuft of pale fur, the scent he’d been seeking for almost an entire month now. He would have given his tail for any of them. Obsessive in his mission, Seeker traveled the edge of the north forest, swung back to the glen, then struck back out into the open hillsides again. He didn’t know how many times this had been since loosing the trail.

Not for a second did he entertain the thought of setting paw back into the glen. He wasn’t going home with nothing.

Seeker wasn’t really aware of the passage of time, though some sixth sense warned him winter had arrived. The snow the previous week hadn’t assisted his tracking. He avoided other wolves now, after two previous negative encounters, simply swerving in the opposite direction whenever the telltale scent of a stranger came his way. Letting his nose lead him. He tasted nothing of what he ate, impatiently yanking fur or feathers out of the way in order to bolt his meal and resume his never-ending search. Each morning and evening he let a lonely howl ring out across the grasslands.

He crested a bare hill, panting slightly as he headed for the very top of the summit. It would afford him a view, and he would have to stop for the night, curling himself into a fluffy ball out in the open. Often in the mornings his paws were so numb he had to nip feeling back into them. He paused to howl once he was at the hill’s highest point, wishing he’d found this sizeable slope earlier in the day. It was almost pitch black now, and even eyes as keen as his struggled to see any great distance. 

Perhaps this would be his life now. Dodging wolves whose motivations he mistrusted, while tracking back and forth across the valley in search of his youngest friend.


Jul 11, 2017 06:47 AM

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Scarce

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Meir dom
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Away.

Away, away, away.

Meir wasn’t going to disappear again, but he had to get away. That is what he had done after Talio had told him. Run. Run away from the caves, the forest, the clearing, the Evergreen Wolves, from his Kin. He had run away into the hills, a place he barely knew, just to get away from his feelings.

Meir had not just run, though. He kept going until he could no longer feel the breath of his Kin breathing down his neck. The forest that lay far away faded into the distance as he went, another one shortly to come if he carried on. Meir did not carry on, however. He kept running only until he could see naught but grass, then he collapsed on the floor in a terrible heap, crying.

He couldn’t understand it, and he couldn’t understand his very strong emotions, but he struggled to do anything. He felt vulnerable, and worst of all, he could feel the pull of winter’s wrath.

Another thing he despised and just wanted to be over with during this time: heat.

When he had someone to hold his hand and be his support through it, Meir felt safe. However, with Talio gone and out of the question, Meir couldn’t say that the oncoming breath of winter was at all welcome. Not when that, too, made him feel vulnerable – although Meir doubted it could get worse.

Meir felt like he needed a hug more than anything, but not just because he needed the comfort. He knew what was coming and it hurt him to think about. Autumn was ending, winter was coming; it brought forth changes he would rather see buried than feel within him.

Meir scratched in annoyance at the ground as he mulled these thoughts over, but nothing could beat the pain of his still shattering heart as Talio’s voice echoed around in his head.

I don’t think we should be together, anymore, Meir.

It ricocheted around his head like a ball bounding through a maze. He couldn’t seem to shake the sound. His ears started to ring and his head felt painful and heavy. It felt like the world’s worst headache mixed with the world’s worst heartache. Everything hurt, but nothing more than thinking about the loss of the wolf he loved most in the world.

And now he was gone.

And now Meir was left alone in the hills, an unfamiliar place, pondering everything. Leaving the Evergreens, or not. Hiding away, or not. He didn’t know what to do, but perhaps that was part of it.

He had to be able to work without Talio.

[ Seeker could likely see/smell Meir if he looked the right way, but Meir isn’t doing anything to bring his attention and hasn’t noticed Seeker! ]


Jul 11, 2017 07:45 AM — Post #1

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Lenna is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
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Lenna Elissa
 

Hunter, gone. Jeremy, gone. Valentina, gone. And worst of all—worst of all, Seeker, gone.

He wasn’t dead, she knew that much. Every once in a while, she’d catch his scent, but never for long enough to track it, and she wasn’t half the tracker he was anyway. She had faith that when he was ready, he’d come see her. But she wanted to help him—and after all that had happened to the Brotherhood recently, a selfish part of her wanted her little brother to help her, too.

She spent most of her days hunting; she didn’t want to bother Marzena much, or any of the others who had known Valentina better or longer than her. For a time, she considered leaving, but she remembered making a commitment to their late leader, to this Brotherhood, that she would stay and be loyal. Even though things now were tough, even though all that was left of Seeker was a ghost, she’d stay here, hunt, do what she could to help. Every once in a while, she’d see a patch of the goldenseal that was the only thing Jeremy had really had time to teach her and think, For eye infections, or an upset stomach.

She’d started wandering farther and farther from the falls, though. She always came back, and she always brought something for the cache, but here she was, close to the river where Seeker had become her brother, closer to where they’d met than where they’d lived as family, far from her Brothers, who might need her. Selfish—she was being selfish, hoping Seeker would just turn up out of the wild and they could go home like nothing had ever happened, like he hadn’t run off on some mad quest and left her behind, even though he’d clicked with the Brotherhood better and faster than she had, even though—

The wind shifted, and she froze. There was another wolf, reddish against the snow. Still a ways off. She felt curiosity, apathy, and nervousness warring inside her, but her feet seemed to move on their own. Something about the set of that wolf’s shoulders looked… well, a little familiar. She barked low, trying to signal her presence so the stranger wouldn’t be startled, and tried to look approachable and nonthreatening as she slowly crossed the distance between them.

//Let me know if any of that “while I was away” summary doesn’t feel right, Chris. ;p And sorry if this is a bit overdramatic. Lenna’s headed for Meir, but hasn’t noticed Seeker yet, despite her whining (and his howling)...


Jul 11, 2017 04:16 PM — Post #2

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[ Edited: Jul 12, 2017 10:42 AM by Lenna ]
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The wind was blowing from the Evergreen wolf to Seeker, and the moment he detected it, he froze. Al save for his left ear which began a mad twitch, mind racing as he tried to figure out what to do.

Run. Running seemed the best option after that sharp white female. But the stranger… huh, that was weird. The motion and stance… that was decidedly masculine, yet… the scent didn’t lie. It was a female.

Figure out what was happening. He could still run from such a small wolf. Before he could make a move, he spotted a second movement over the dried-up grassland.

Lenna. His big sister was headed right for the Evergreen wolf. She was closer to her than Seeker was to Lenna… 

That got him moving. He broke into a sprint, tearing down the hill at a really dramatic speed. “Lenna!” He barked as he neared her, warning in her name. “That’s an Evergreen wolf, stay away from her!” He didn’t care if the stranger overheard. He wasn’t worried about bruising feelings of a pack who were essentially enemies of his own, or so Seeker believed for what information he had behind them. The Emerald Union had warned them off their Evergreen allies, too… meaning that two packs were united against the Brotherhood. 

Besides… the big white female had never agreed the young were innocent of the battles fought by the grown. What if they all believed that?


Jul 12, 2017 04:21 AM — Post #3

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133622

Scarce

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Meir dom
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</i></i>[ Open italic in your post, Lenna! ]

Meir kept low and slumped to the ground. He buried his face into his own paws, desperate to bury himself into the ground and just hide from reality. Hide from Talio. Hide from Kin. Hide from the world.

Meir felt like a disgrace. He felt like he was worthless.

Barks. Barks from somewhere. There had been howls, too, hadn’t there? Meir grunted softly to himself – it didn’t matter. He did not care for them. Instead, he sighed deeply, taking in a sharp breath, and tried to compose himself. Stop the whimpering, the crying, the everything. He rubbed his eyes with his paws, desperate to get rid of the tears.

Suddenly, he heard another voice over everything. Barking, panicked. Meir jumped, startled, but kept his head buried in his paws. The tears had just about dried up, but he still kept it there.

Soon enough, Meir found out why the barking wolf had been warned. Meir’s head turned to look at them. A male and a female. The male was shouting. He seemed to have something against the Evergreen Wolves. He warned that he was an Evergreen wolf, which he could not see the problem with, as much as he felt like leaving, but then he did the one thing that hurt more than anything.

Stay away from her.

It felt like a punch in the gut that just stung and stung when added to everything else. First, his heart shattering, then his doubt, and all that followed by the stomach twisting and writhing at hearing “her.” He wished he could just get passed it all. Tell everyone that wasn’t him.

Him,” he corrected, his voice shaky and broken. He looked at the male that was sprinting towards him. “Him, not her,” he reiterated, hoping he understood.

Meir did not have it in him to explain today, nor did he feel like it. What had the Evergreens done to this wolf? Meir did not recognise him.

What’s wrong with the Evergreen Wolves?” Meir asked. “I mean no one any harm. I’m a Herbalist.

Did he really look like he could hurt anyone in this state? A shaking, broken voice, lying on the ground in defeat. His face remained tear-stained. Did this male truly believe that Meir was in any state to fight or attack anyone. And simply because he was an Evergreen wolf? Did that actually mean anything. Being Kin was being family. He would only fight to protect those he loved, and what had these wolves done? Nothing but making him feel worse.

Meir knew wolves couldn’t help but call him “her,” but that did not mean it hurt any less. He was not angry, but he was distraught. And the misgendering only made it worse.


Jul 12, 2017 05:47 AM — Post #4

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Lenna is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
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Lenna Elissa
 

Halfway to the stranger, Lenna froze. That—that was Seeker! The last person she’d truly expected to find out here, and yet there he was when she spun around, tearing towards her, telling her to stay away from the stranger. An Evergreen wolf… well, that would explain why the scent was slightly familiar.

She drew to a stop, looking back and forth between her brother and this stranger, trying to process what was going on. Here was Seeker, when she’d constantly been half-afraid he was dead somewhere in the wilderness, and then here was this stranger, who had yet to do anything particularly threatening, Evergreen or no. Most of what the red wolf was saying washed right over her; Lenna was too busy staring at her brother, though the word herbalist did jump out at her. That was a little ironic, maybe.

“Hello, Seeker,” she managed, trying to keep her voice from spilling over with relief. “It’s good to see you.”

//Fixed that italic, sorry!


Jul 12, 2017 10:46 AM — Post #5

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When there appeared no threat from the prone male, Seeker skidded to a halt close to Lenna, in time to hear the words the stranger spoke.

“What?” Him not her - well - what? Seeker’s nose didn’t lie. He smelt a female wolf, two in fact, a stranger and his sister. He didn’t get it at all, having never experienced anything in this vein before, and he swung his head from Meir to Lenna, wariness morphing into relief and a very crushingly youthful vulnerability.

“Your pack don’t like ours. I’m protecting my sister.” He reported to the girl - guy - whatever. Whoever they were wasn’t Seeker’s priority right now. They didn’t look like a threat but after the enigmatic white female he wasn’t trusting any Evergreen wolf. “Lenna. I-” He bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood. He had so few defenses with Lenna, the barriers he threw up when facing the rest of the world to easy for her to jump because she knew the way so well. 

“I know I disappointed you.” He stated quietly. “Not coming home with Valentina and Nat. But Theo - Theo’s out here. If it were me lost he’d never give up on me. I can’t come home yet, sis… I - I just gotta find him. I gotta bring him home.”

His gaze flicked back to the wolf lying on the ground and in a whisper he muttered to Lenna, sliding closer to her. “What’s wrong with her?”


Jul 13, 2017 10:13 AM — Post #6

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134181

Scarce

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The male’s confusion at Meir’s correction reminded him of the white, delusional wolf a little too much. Meir looked at the ground, wanting to hide, as he reminded himself that this wolf was not that wolf, even though he had yelled like he was pretending to be some kind of hero – saving this female, an actual one, from the “evil Evergreen wolf” that he seemed to have an idea of.

The Evergreens didn’t like this wolf’s pack? Whyever not? Meir looked at him, confused.

You’re not protecting her if I’m no threat,” he told him. “And I have nothing against any pack. Whoever it was in my pack that has something against yours, their views don’t represent mine.

The other two conversed like they had some sort of strange relationship. At first, he assumed they were mates and buried his head further into his legs. He didn’t want to be around a mated pair.

Until he said “sis,” then Meir realised his assumptions had been wrong. He sighed a sigh of relief, but continued to look at the ground.

He heard a faint mumble aimed towards the other wolf, but he heard the word “her,” so he assumed that the male was talking about him. That’s all he heard. The wrong words. The words that hurt. The words that were untrue. Meir’s head lifted again and his stomach kept in a knot at the very thought of it. “She” was not a she, but a he.

Him,” he corrected again, slightly more strongly, this time, but certainly not aggressive. Just the voice of a pained, broken wolf that wanted to not be misgendered.


Jul 13, 2017 10:54 AM — Post #7

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134278
Lenna is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
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Lenna Elissa
 

Lenna felt her ears falling back and her tail drooping sadly. She was all but ignoring the stranger still—and if Seeker thought they were a threat, maybe that wasn’t smart, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to be worried about them right now. All this business about him or her finally clicked—somehow this male smelled like a female. There were stranger things in the world than that, surely, and that wasn’t her priority right now anyway.

“Seeker,” she started again, not quite sure what she wanted to tell him but bursting with a thousand things; finding Theo shouldn’t be his responsibility alone. She missed him. The Brotherhood missed him. Theo would come home, or he wouldn’t, but there had to be better ways to look than wandering, lost and alone. But Seeker cut her off, asking about the stranger, and she finally shifted her attention away from her brother.

“I don’t know,” she replied hesitantly. He wasn’t in any obvious physical pain. “Are you—are you all right?” This was directed at the stranger, as she looked him over again. He’d said he was a healer, right? Maybe he knew how to make himself feel better. She certainly didn’t. “Can I do something to help?”


Jul 13, 2017 02:43 PM — Post #8

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Seeker paced closer to Lenna, touching his side to hers protectively while he stared at the red… girl, guy? He totally didn’t understand what was going on in that respect.

“You’d better be no threat.” He huffed, rather bluntly. “Because I’ve had just about enough of people not turning out to be what they seem. You so much as show your teeth at my sister and I’ll shred you, just so we’re clear.”

His brow furrowed at the second insistence of ‘him’. Was the wolf talking about herself? Now he was even more confused. Oh why was he even trying to figure this out? LENNA WAS HERE.

Lenna, always more emphatic than he was, asked the stranger if they were okay. Seeker resisted the urge to groan at her bleeding heart. Even though if she hadn’t taken pity on Seeker himself, he wouldn’t even be here, his patience was very frayed. “Lenna just be careful. She’s clearly confused, she thinks she’s a guy.” He hissed, nudging at her with an elbow.


Jul 13, 2017 10:50 PM — Post #9

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134454

Scarce

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Meir dom
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By now, they had both mentioned one another’s names, but Meir was almost too lost in his own shattered heart to realise it. He kept staring at the ground as the female said “Seeker,” who he could only assume was the male that thought he was a threat just because he was from the Evergreen Wolves’ forests.

But Meir himself was being threatened, not that he cared. He just sighed into the ground and rested his head there, content to continue silently shedding tears against it. Meir honestly couldn’t care less what “Seeker” wanted to do. He was utterly insane and reminded him too much of the “hero.”

Meir resisted any kind of retaliation along the lines of the only one showing any sort of threat to anyone was him, but Meir thought better of it, given his situation.

Finally, though, Meir felt some kindness and he lifted his head. However, he kept his back turned to the strangers and did not face them. The didn’t have to see his tear-stained face. They didn’t have to see what pain he was in. But she wanted to know if he was alright, and Meir honestly wanted to get it out to someone.

Before he could say anything, the stupid idiot of a male decided to make Meir’s life hell. He warned his sister, “Lenna,” to be careful because she was confused. Because she was clearly wrong. Because she thought she was a guy.

Meir felt like he had a blanket wrapped around his face, starving him of oxygen, as he tried to speak. He finally lifted himself to a stand, legs shaking the whole time. He took in a deep, rasping breath as he tried desperately to catch it from under the blanket around his face. He turned, revealing his tear-soaked face. If they could see it under that blanket.

Heavy eyes looked at Seeker’s.

I am male,” he answered slowly and lazily, clearly without any energy. “I’m not confused. I don’t think I am. I am.

He hated this wolf. He hated him so much. He was just like some of the others. Rude, close minded. Someone that couldn’t understand something just because they had their heads so far up their asses and were happy with themselves. Meir, on the other hand, was happy to accept it. He always had been.

I’m not okay, but I don’t think you can help,” he answered honestly to the kind female, offering a slight smile her way. He kept his distance from the pair as he was quite wary of coming towards that horrible-natured male.

There’s not much you can do for the emotional pains.


Jul 14, 2017 01:43 AM — Post #10

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There’s not much you can do for the emotional pains. Wasn’t that the truth. Looking back and forth between Seeker and this stranger who didn’t smell like he should, it seemed clear to Lenna that they both could use a little help with their emotional pains. Unfortunately, she wasn’t sure she could be of much help to either of them.

But she could at least try. She glanced at the stranger again and said, “Um, sorry if my brother offended you.” But, not quite sure what else to say to him, she looked at Seeker and said more quietly, “Seeker, please, can we talk? I’ve missed you.”

That was barely scratching the surface of it, but for once, she was the one of the two of them who had no idea how to put what she was feeling into words. She pressed on anyway, determined to get at least one plea out before she and Seeker no doubt parted ways again. “I know you’re worried about Theo and everything, but so much has happened. I… I hope you’ll at least think about coming home for the winter.”


Jul 15, 2017 03:59 PM — Post #11

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The stranger spoke readily enough, but with clear apathy. Seeker knew he could take her if she pounced, and the thought have him some security. She was an Evergreen, and those he’d encountered or heard of so far didn’t scream stability…

“Hey! Lenna don’t apologize for me, I can speak for myself! And it’s not my fault this girl - guy - whatever! - isn’t making any sense.” He was growing even more frustrated now.

Emotional pains. Yeah, get in line, weirdo.

“As for you, I don’t know if you’re joking, or if you’re injured, or whatever, but I can smell you. Female scent.” He pointed out quite bluntly, trying to make his stance clear. He didn’t understand what was going on with… them… and he was far less concerned about them and their insistence on being a gender they clearly weren’t, despite the masculine stance and the sound of the voice.

He pinned his ears back and looked a bit desperately back to his sister. “Lenna, THEO is out here somewhere! In winter! In the cold! With two packs that have a grudge against ours! And without anyone to help him hunt, and he doesn’t know about blizzards or any of the dangers out here! You can’t seriously expect me to come tuck myself safely away at home without finding him!” He was upset, but not with Lenna - he was never upset with her. Just the situation, of being here, talking to her with some weirdo depressed wolf who didn’t want any help and insisted on being called a gender they weren’t and belonged to a rival and possibly dangerous pack. Yeah, Seeker was pretty stressed right about now. 


Jul 16, 2017 08:43 AM — Post #12

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135140

Scarce

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The female apologised for her brother and Meir smiled her way. He quite liked this female. She was kind.

It’s alright. It happens a lot,” he noted, and mentally, he took note that it happened all too often – not that it made it any less painful to be called what he knew that he was not.

And it was made worse by the male’s consistent ignorance at Meir’s tellings that he was male. He called him a “girl” once more, and Meir recoiled into a smaller figure of himself at that. If Seeker would just listen, then he would understand that Meir was, in fact, making sense; it was just a concept that was unfamiliar to the male. Lenna was giving the time to somewhat understand. The least he could do was try.

Then Seeker did what any wolf did, really – point out that Meir smelt female. Meir was well aware of that fact, and he knew that the season was coming where he would smell even more female. The season that Talio would normally protect him from.

Talio was no longer there to defend him from that.

And that scent is wrong,” Meir commented dryly, having little in him to bring forth anything but dryness. “I am male, and no amount of arguing from you is going to change that.

All this arguing was doing was making Meir more and more uncomfortable. If that was what Seeker wanted to achieve, then he had successfully done so, but Meir didn’t imagine so as the male seemed to be completely clueless as to what he was dealing with. No matter, no matter. Most were. But if Kamaal could accept is as quickly as anything, then surely this male could?

Meir would have thought she would toy with him or something, but she hadn’t.

The two conversed about a “Theo,” and although Meir had no idea who this “Theo” character was, he listened. Seeker was looking for this wolf, and Meir’s head tipped curiously. It seemed he thought him almost incapable and Meir could only wonder why. He hoped that Seeker would answer the question during his short rant, but he failed to do so.

Why did Theo leave?” Meir asked. “If you want, I can help look for him? If I see him, I can bring him back to wherever you live? Send him back your way? Whatever you prefer?

He tried to keep his voice as normal as he could, but it was hard to not sound broken when he so clearly was.


Jul 16, 2017 10:55 AM — Post #13

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“You’re not the only one who wants to find Theo,” Lenna said, her ears falling flat against her head as Seeker got clearly more upset. She couldn’t help but feel a little guilty; her brother was right, after all. There was no guarantee Theo would make it through his first winter alone, without help, and with plenty of packs who wouldn’t necessarily look kindly on a lost Brotherhood pup. But she wanted her brother back. And she wanted Valentina back, and she wanted…

She glanced again at the stranger. She didn’t even know his name—and she definitely didn’t really get why, to Seeker’s point, he smelled female, or what any of that meant—but he was willing to help them search, despite their packs’ differences. She doubted Seeker would accept the help, though.

“Theo… Theo’s just a pup,” she explained to the stranger.  “He’s been missing for a while now.” She turned back to her brother and said, “Seeker, please—don’t you think we have a better chance of finding him together, rather than you out here all alone? Look, even those outside our pack are willing to help. This doesn’t have to just be on you. Let us help—let me help.” She lowered her head slightly, aware her outburst must sound desperate.


Jul 16, 2017 10:00 PM — Post #14

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“Arguing.” Seeker repeated very flatly. “From me.” Like fuck he was the one arguing - he was simply pointing out facts. Of course it happened to her a lot if she insisted every single wolf called her a gender she wasn’t! But he honestly didn’t give a toss about this weirdo who clearly wasn’t interested in explaining anything. He was equally uninterested in listening at this point in time.

A small growl at the mention of helping look for Theo. “For all I know your pack might be be willing to carry their grudge out against a six month-old kid.” He bluntly brushed aside the offer of help. “You just stay away from him. I don’t trust Evergreen wolves and I don’t trust anything you have to say.” This one with all the gender issues certainly hadn’t given him any reason to change his mind about Evergreens.

He rudely turned his back on the smaller wolf to look at Lenna, then sighed heavily. “Come on Lenna. Let’s go talk.” He shot a firm look at the ginger wolf to let the stranger know they weren’t invited.


Jul 17, 2017 07:58 AM — Post #15

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