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ll i’m sorry & i don’t know why ll
[summons] right after 'may i have your attention please' l looking for senna l clear skies & mild breeze

9226

Scarce

Name Player
Nanook Himura Dai.
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The sudden outburst that Senna had made at the meeting between the Sanctuary wolves was… well, quite unexpected and before Nanook could try and figure anything out, she had run off.

Great worry had washed over him that moment, the feeling that he had done something horribly wrong to Senna, but he did not know what. As soon as the meeting was over, he was off, searching for her.

Quickly his feet carried him toward the direction she had gone, following little paw prints in the snow, but his anxiety grew and grew with each passing minute. He needed to talk to her, he needed to explain things, he needed her forgiveness, for whatever he had done.

The crawling nerves inside him made his skin itch, he shook his body with force to try and lose the feeling. He could not give into fantasy feelings, he had to find Senna.

He whined and softly barked as he went on, head lowered and tail limp. He was not mad at her, but at himself, clearly he had done wrong. Clearly he had hurt Senna and that was not ok.


Aug 28, 2017 10:29 AM

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149156
Name Player
Senna Selwyn windy
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

Senna had announced that she was going to look for Dalus when she charged off, but she really hadn’t made much progress in that realm. She was too distracted by her churning emotions to really track anyone or anything effectively, so she had sort of just ended up drifting aimlessly around the hollow. By the time she heard Nanook barking for her, she had calmed down considerably. Enough to feel sorry for ruining her guardian’s big moment earlier, and for the whine in his voice that she had obviously put there.

Senna whined back, her voice just as remorseful as Nanook’s. The two zeroed in on one another, and when they finally found each other Senna didn’t hesitate to step forward and nudge her crown into the man’s chest. She was confused and upset, and she was pretty sure she was mad at Nanook, but seeking comfort from his contact was becoming something of a habit for the girl.


Aug 28, 2017 10:39 AM — Post #1

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149169

Scarce

Name Player
Nanook Himura Dai.
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1year 2mos 6mos 100posts 250posts profile
 

The sight of Senna immediately brought a certain ease over him, she was still here, she had not run, she had not left him. The itch under his skin had settled, for now.

The contact was most assuredly needed and wanted, a gentle caress of the back of her neck followed once it was so close. Nanook needed her to know that he did not mean to upset her, whatever he did, he was sorry, but now, he felt awkward. What had he done? What would he apologize for?

He was silent for a moment, just taking in that fact that she was still here and at least not upset enough to avoid him. The thought sent chills down his spine, he never wanted Senna to not want to be around him, to not trust him and look at him the way she did, with those big apple greens.

“I-I…” He stuttered over his words, unsure of how to proceed. “I’m sorry Senna, for what I do not know, but… I am truly sorry.” A whine followed, feeling open and insecure. It was a feeling that he did not know, not like this. This feeling, it tugged at memories that he could not recall, but that had left over remnants of what he had felt before, when he was young. Maybe, he had done something terribly wrong when he was a pup? Maybe he had made someone close to him upset like he had done to Senna? It tore at his insides that he couldn’t remember, that he couldn’t say sorry to whoever he had wronged before. These lingering feelings, these old muddled memories intensified the way he was feeling in the present. The itch was back.


Aug 28, 2017 11:11 AM — Post #2

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149180
Name Player
Senna Selwyn windy
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

As soon as Nanook apologized, Senna knew it wasn’t him she was really mad at. She turned her head so she could speak, resting her ear over the man’s heart.

“I’m sorry too.” She had been such a brat. “It was just a lot. Everything was happening so fast…” She didn’t know how to explain that overwhelming feeling that she got, when everyone seemed to know exactly what was going on except her. “I don’t even know those other two people. And I don’t want this place to change.” She was glad that her cheek was against Nanook right now, so she didn’t have to look at him while she was so embarrassed. She felt very childish admitting to everything that was confusing her.

“And.. and I don’t want you to be my alpha..” she said, with more emotion in her voice now. “..I want you to be my d-.. Her.. her what? Was she about to day dad? Right out loud like that? Nanook was going to think she was such a mess. Such a baby. Senna let the sentence hang in the air, too afraid to finish it. She already thought of Nanook as family, but what if he didn’t feel the same?


Aug 28, 2017 11:33 AM — Post #3

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149199

Scarce

Name Player
Nanook Himura Dai.
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“It’s ok..” He cooed , nudging the top of her head as she spoke. He didn’t want Senna to feel bad, not ever if he could help it, although he was aware that that was an impossible task.

“I’m sorry I did not speak to you sooner about everything. I have had a lot on my mind and I am easily caught up in my thoughts. I…” The heat of embarrassment began to rise in the back of his throat, like acid burning his esophagus. “I am not so good at these things, Senna. Prior to coming to this valley, I had been alone for many years. I am still adjusting to being around others and staying social with them. I am sorry. I am still learning.” How pathetic it was of him, to not know how to keep up on the one thing that was naturally apart of being a wolf, being social. He had to be better, he had to be, for Senna and for The Sanctuary.

“Nothing is changing dear child, just becoming structured. It is something we wolves like to do, for reasons still unknown to even myself. I believe it is a thing that a friend of mine mentioned once before, Instinct.” Fondly he remembered Grigore and the mentioning of such a word, a word that Nanook had thought on many nights. “In my eyes, The Sanctuary has existed since the day it was founded by the old and wise Fern. When she passed, a wolf by the name of Argus took the lead, but many tragic things happened to him and that was when the pack disbanded, but I now see that The Sanctuary is more then just a pack, it is an idea, a purpose. To help those in need, but in order for that purpose to be brought to life you need structure, you need those who are willing to take on roles that help fulfill that purpose. That is where ranks come in, but really, for us they are just titles. I view every wolf here as an equal, not beneath me.” He spoke unbroken and hoped that this explanation would help ease the girl’s troubled mind. The old wolf did not realize that such things troubled the pup so much, he did not know what fears laid within her. It was all very overwhelming at times and caused his nerves to rattled inside him.

This is what he wanted though, right? More emotion, more contact, more connections, more then just existing and surviving. He had torn through lands all on his own throughout the years, taken the world by his paws and met every challenge that Mother Earth had thrown at him and came out on top. He was strong, he was smart, he was a survivor. He had to be those things for Senna, he had to be confident, show her went it meant to be a thriving wolf. Show her so that she could one day be the same and tackle the world and all it’s troubles and come out on top.

“I do not wish to reign over others, Senna, but to protect them and help them thrive in this sometimes cruel world. Wolves are strong in number and they find comfort in having someone at the head to bring all of their worries and troubles to. To face fears that they are not ready to face on their own. Someone to help them figure out things that others may not be able to handle. If that is what is needed in The Sanctuary, then that is what I must be.” His voice held confidence and a wisdom that surprised even himself. He would do this though, he would be their Guardian if that is what was needed.

“Senna…” He paused briefly, feeling the unease and embarrassment roll off of the pup, causing his own anxiety to flare slightly, but he was strong, he had to remember that, he had to remind himself. “You are of my own, no matter what anyone else says. You are my family.” He said the words with pride and boldness, as if daring anyone to come bursting into the scene and challenge him or say otherwise.


Aug 28, 2017 12:26 PM — Post #4

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[ Edited: Sep 03, 2017 01:20 PM by Nanook ]
150107
Name Player
Senna Selwyn windy
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

“It’s okay, Nanook,” Senna echoed her guardian’s (or her Guardian’s? ;p) soothing words from earlier in response to his apology. In the past she hadn’t ever been so easily upset by the threat of change, of not being in the know, but her wounds from her experience in The Kingdom were still too fresh for her to be able to just roll with these sorts of surprises. The truth of what sort of things went on in The Kingdom had eluded (or been carefully hidden from?) her until she had committed herself to the pack, and even though she trusted Nanook she didn’t want anything like that to happen here, or ever again.

Senna listened to Nanook’s heartbeat in the background as he explained the benefits of structure and order. She knew he was right, about the instinct. The first thing that Senna and the other yearlings from the dispersal had done after departing Eiriol Pass was set up a pecking order, right? Senna supposed there was nothing inherently wrong with that.

Nanook went on to explain the responsibility of his role, and Senna nodded into his chest fur.  She could understand people wanting a wolf to whom they could bring their most difficult problems. Nanook was already that person for her; it would be selfish for Senna to keep him to herself. If he could help others the way he helped Senna, and that was his life’s purpose, Senna wouldn’t stand in the way of that.

There was something different in Nanook’s voice when he said her name—it made Senna pull back slightly to meet his gaze, despite her embarrassment. 

You are MY family... those words, spoken with such conviction.. they were exactly what Senna was hoping to hear. The girl broke into a smile and drove herself into Nanook’s chest once more in an embrace. “You’re my family,” she echoed, wanting to say the words for herself. It felt good.

When the two finally pulled apart, Senna felt relief and relaxation flood her body. She was so relieved that she felt drained, like she had been carrying something very heavy for a long time, and only now that the burden was gone did she realize she was incredibly tired.

“One more thing—I’m going to start sleeping in the hollow. With the others.” It had been Senna herself who had elected to keep away from the communal areas, and Nanook hadn’t pressed the issue… but now that it was obvious that Dalus was healed (no sick person could run that way!) there was no excuse left for Senna to keep herself from getting to know the other Sanctuary wolves. Sienna had been fairly overbearing at the meeting—especially when she had cut off Senna’s escape to preach at her—but that Adonai man had seemed nice. She would try him first.


Aug 31, 2017 08:57 AM — Post #5

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151345

Scarce

Name Player
Nanook Himura Dai.
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She didn’t say much after all of his words and for a moment there was silence. Nanook did not know how to take this, did she understand the things he spoke of? Or was it all too much? Had he expected too much from one so young?

Whatever reason for her silence, the older wolf tried to focus on something, anything else to keep his mind from wandering.So, his amber gaze looked back towards the snow, drifting down to the earth at a delicate pace. It reminded him of years that had long pasted. Of his time living in The Wildwoods. It had snowed every year there, but the amount was far greater than he had seen in The Valley. Maybe that was why he was so good at surviving the Winter? During the sunny months, it was like a walk in the park. Abundant prey and bright sun to warm his aging body.

While following a lone snowflake, he caught the gaze of apple greens, but only briefly before the pup pushed herself back into his large chest. Young ones, they were so full of… intense emotion. All of this was overwhelming for the male, but her words soothed some of the burn that was anxiety and he gave another gentle lick to the top of her head for reassurance.

Had he been so troublesome to deal with? Was he so emotional as well? He must have been so much harder to deal with in his young days, for instead of being emotional in the way Senna was, he was emotional in the way Eden was. Now having experienced both, Senna was always his breath of fresh air, even when she made his insides crawl.

The news that Senna announced brought a light to the pale wolf’s eyes. It was a good thing that she wanted to sleep in The Hollow, right? That meant she was staying, right? “I’m glad to hear.” He said softly. “I know it has been… a lot for you, Senna and I know that these wolves are like strangers to you, right now, but with time and patience, you’ll see that they are good.” He lowered his head to nudge the side of her face, comforting her. She did not have to speak about what happened between her and Sienna for Nanook to know that it must be bothering her. It was a bold thing that Sienna had done and in honesty, an action that the pale wolf did not support. Senna was… fragile at times, it seemed, so it must be bothering her? “Sienna is a little… rough at first. She has fire within her, it is not always a bad thing, but it makes wolves act.. a little different in certain situations. She is much more… confrontational. Go at her with patience and understanding and you might find yourself a strong friend.”


Sep 04, 2017 11:21 AM — Post #6

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152003
Name Player
Senna Selwyn windy
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

She knew that this was where the conversation would lead, when she mentioned the others. The others, who for certain thought of her as a reactive brat (or worse) after snapping at Sienna.  Senna gave a heavy sigh when Nanook talked about time and patience. Two things she always had in very short supply. “I know. I know they’re good,” she said quietly. Honestly, Senna hadn’t met a wolf that she thought of as bad per-say, except maybe that jerk boy Stark from the Firewing Brotherhood.  What she worried about more was what they must think of her now.

“I just want to fit in.”  Why was that so hard for her?  It was like the universe kept dangling the prize of “home” in front of Senna’s nose, then yanking it away as soon as she reached for it. 

Nanook’s caress was a comfort, but Senna still flattened her ears in distress at the mention of Sienna’s name. Still, Senna listened to Nanook’s words and nodded. So, Sienna makes other wolves act different too, not just her… that was comforting, she supposed.  “Yeah, I’ve never…” ..reacted like that before? ..felt that trapped before? ...actually wanted to hurt someone before?

It was hard for Senna to imagine a strong friendship developing between herself and the other pup, especially after such a tumultuous meeting… but Nanook was wise, and he knew more about these kinds of things, right? “I’ll—I’ll apologize.” Senna wrinkled her nose at the thought, but she knew it would be the right thing to do. The girls had to share the Hollow after all, so she might as well try to get along.  With time, they would see whether the Hollow was big enough for both of them.
___

Excuse the wait, friend! I had a crazy week/weekend last week (bachelorette trip to New Orleans), and I’m still trying to get my life caught up!


Sep 07, 2017 07:54 AM — Post #7

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155054

Scarce

Name Player
Nanook Himura Dai.
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Nanook smiled, realizing how vulnerable Senna must feel. All these new wolves, these new faces, it was hard even for the older male, so he could only imagine how the young girl must feel. “You will fit in just perfectly.” He cooed. “You are Senna Selwyn, the first Seeker of the Hillside Sanctuary, you are a star, a light among the darkness and you will find that wolves will gravitate to you, just as I have.” He looked at her longingly, wanting her to believe what he was saying, wanting her to feel good about herself.

“It’s ok.” He cooed, nuzzling her pinned ears. “Take this as a lesson and learn from the experience.” The words were said with softness and a wisdom that was not his own. The knowledge was taken from an older wolf that he once knew, before his time in The Valley. He had not known how important those words were or what they meant, until more recently. Maybe it was the years, wearing on his mind, molding it slowly into a more understanding machine.

His amber eyes gleamed at her words, “A noble choice, Senna.” He smiled. “Not everyone is so quick to acknowledge their own faults. It is a good trait to have. It will help your growth. You will become more wise than even I if you keep up at this rate.” The pale wolf gave a chuckle, as if he was some great wisdom baring wolf. He hoped that Senna didn’t take his comment all too seriously, not wanting to sound arrogant.

-

no worries! i fully understand, heh. happens to me almost every other week or so it seems xD


Sep 18, 2017 11:02 PM — Post #8

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157823
Name Player
Senna Selwyn windy
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

Senna smiled despite herself when Nanook began praising her, smile growing as the praise continued. Nanook’s words were so beautiful and gaze so heartfelt that Senna didn’t know how to respond. Her, a star? A light among darkness? Senna wasn’t so sure she was any of those things, but hearing Nanook say them out loud made her want to be all of them. Someday, maybe.

Senna leaned in to Nanook as he stroked the top of her head.  His words and actions were quick to absolve the young girl’s guilt, for which she was grateful. He spoke of her gaining wisdom with this experience, which was not how she was accustomed to looking at her mistakes. “Mistakes make us wiser…” she piped, curious eyes finding Nanook’s, searching for confirmation.

Senna was a long way from being pleased with herself, but at least she felt more settled. Her emotions had ceased their torment—for now, at least—and their absence made Senna feel drained. “Can we go home?” she asked her guardian, tone weary but content. Getting wiser was an exhausting enterprise.
___

Feel free to fade/archive after Nanook’s response!


Sep 28, 2017 07:26 AM — Post #9

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