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Unforgiven. 
midday, cloudy.

9295
Adrian is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Adrian Vibe
 

Adrian had thought that coming back to the Labyrinth would bring with it some kind of overwhelming emotional response, the kind provoked by many happy and pleasant memories which had been made here. And it had, at first, but the response he’d gotten was more subdued than he had thought. While memories were definitely at the forefront of his mind, he couldn’t bring himself to feel much of anything about them anymore, one way or another.

It was so cold and silent here, with absolutely no sign of life. No traces left of the group that had formerly called this place home. Adrian was sure that he was the only one to have been here at all, in recent days, and that was perfectly fine with him. He had reclaimed his old den and in the time that he had been here, and opted to rest for a while. That had turned into a few days, and since then, he had not been able to work up the strength to leave.

So that was where he was, now. Curled up in his familiar, lonely den, orange eyes peering out into the quiet nothingness. His residence here was definitely not going to be permanent. Soon enough, when he’d worked up the will to go on, he would keep moving north. Not yet, though.

If he was honest with himself, he knew why he was still here. He was waiting, wondering if anybody he’d known would venture back too, to see that winter’s blanket had come over the labyrinth. Adrian knew it was a foolish sort of hope, but it was the one thing his icy numbness couldn’t suppress.


Sep 01, 2017 08:19 PM

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150753
Name Player
Epidemic J
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

Epidemic sat idly nearby. Her plushy tail curled around her plump frame, resting upon her auburn paws. She glanced around, her expression not very entertained by the area Adrian stopped at. Epidemic played at the idea of running under the heavy, sculpted roots, but the female remained planted in her place, snow hugging her hind-legs.

Silent air.

Epidemic stated some observations,“The tree roots are cool. I can see little pups playing in them.”

But the terrain was full of silence. Epidemic did not want to think about being alone, because she was next to Adrian. And she had to remind herself that she was. Again. And again.


Sep 02, 2017 11:50 AM — Post #1

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150777
Adrian is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Adrian Vibe
 

He wasn’t exactly sure why this female had stuck around him for as long as she had. Maybe she really didn’t have anything better to do, than sit around with some guy who’d barely even said anything to her since they had first met, and hadn’t done anything except gaze, with a forlorn expression, out at the land around them.

But she was still here. Her words, speaking of little pups, reminded him of that. And while the mention of little pups, during winter, when he was alone with a female… might have ordinarily set Adrian on edge. This time, it did not. Instead he thought back on the Union. Thought of the pairs who’d been in it, and wondered if they’d decided to begin families, this winter. Adrian also regretted that he would not get to see the progression of said families if they had decided to have them.

This place would’ve been a veritable kingdom, a great place for any young pup to grow up in, and explore.

With more clarity in his gaze than had been present for a while, Adrian turned to regard his companion again. ”Yes.” He murmured, studying her carefully. She seemed perhaps, bored. Adrian wondered if she was reconsidering her choice to travel with him. He blinked.

”I used to live here, a while ago. With a pack, my family. Not blood family, but.. I didn’t care.” He did not know why he was telling her this. Perhaps it was because of her loyalty, which meant something. If she intended to stay with him, travel with him, Epidemic at least deserved to know more about him.

Right? Just as he figured he ought to know more about her.

”What is it you’re seeking? Are there things you want.. in your life?”


Sep 02, 2017 12:59 PM — Post #2

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150857
Name Player
Epidemic J
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

Epidemic turned a sharp ear towards Adrian. Her gaze followed slightly after. Though, she hesitantly held her tongue. Unsure in how to act after her raw and natural actions with those males before her, Epidemic paused with words on the tip of her tongue.

He wasn’t like the other assholes. He expressed an authentic display of emotions.

“I didn’t care.

Adrian was solemn, maybe he wasn’t like that before… maybe someone else broke him inside like how she wanted to with The Great Advantage and Tiberius. Epidemic was happy that she was being treated like an equal for once.

She shrugged disdainfully. “I mean.. I want things, but I get caught up in how big the world is, ya know? I don’t know… I’m not sure. The pack I had was blood related. I really liked the coordination and strength of it, but my mom was murdered and I had to leave.”

The memory of her mom didn’t bother her, Epidemic remained unfiltered and casual. Bringing up her mom was more of a healed scar that you could look at and admire. Fate had wielded her strength and attitude like a sword and Epidemic was just swinging a fucking stick blindly. And the fact that her mom could act so viciously the way she did and be loved made part of Epidemic’s guilt forgotten for the moment. Only in the moment.

Epidemic looked away, aimless pawing the ground. With a contemplative click of her tongue, the russet female continued,“It’s like I want things, but then I see things, and I am not so sure what to do with it all and, like, how can they all relate together when the world is so big and you want to be important…”


Sep 03, 2017 12:58 AM — Post #3

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150918
Adrian is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Adrian Vibe
 

Thankfully, there weren’t any prodding inquiries into Adrian’s past. No digging for more information about the pack that had once been here, who he’d considered his family. Nothing. This female just accepted what he’d had to say, and left it at that. He liked that, and could respect her for it. But it still made him wonder just why she had chosen to stick around him.

So she did actually want things, but just got caught up in how big the world was. And that stopped her from pursuing what she wanted? One particular detail he felt sympathy for was her pack. Epidemic - that still felt weird, even to think - had lost her mother to murder. She did not sound particularly distraught, upset, or angry because of it.. But then again, some were better at hiding emotion than others.

”I’m sorry,” he issued the apology sincerely, but he did not remove his eyes from the female as she continued only a few moments later. What she said next helped everything make more sense. Slowly, Adrian nodded, believing he was starting to understand.

”So you.. want to be important? How do you mean?” He questioned carefully. At least thinking about and understanding someone else was better than.. wallowing in his own misery.


Sep 03, 2017 09:35 AM — Post #4

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151125
Name Player
Epidemic J
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

“I’m sorry”

With a light huff, she lifted and dropped her broad shoulders again. It was really all she could do.

“It’s okay..”

Was that the right thing to say? You say it’s fine when someone say it’s sorry? It bothered her. Her ear twitched in part annoyance, part confusion.

Adrian meant well, she supposed. He apologized. Epidemic couldn’t really wrap her head round it. Was he saying sorry because he felt bad for her?

He was asking about /her/ though. It soothed her pride.

“I mean.. you know..” She rolled her shoulders forward, attempting to articulate the mix of emotions, but she hit a wall.

She thought she knew the answer.

“Like, I thought I knew the answer.”

But she felt she was special because her mom told her so and she was realizing her mom wasn’t good as she thought.

“You have a goal in life and you do it.”

She looked back over at Adrian, a little softness in her eyes, passion in her words.

“But…not like /that/...To be important in other’s lives, to do something, to be someone. To, I don’t know, live with a direction..”

Epidemic sighed.

“I hate wandering directionless. I want to do important things cause I know I can but I’ve had bad experiences getting to where I am now.”

She make a sour face and looked away, once again to somewhere else. Epidemic wanted to be the leader. The shining star. The ones wolves looked to in a time of crisis and it only hurt more to think about it. To even SPEAK it was worse. She was a huge fucking baby.

Her eyebrows knotted in her inability to be sure,“I don’t know. It’s not real, but sometimes it feels like it could be?”

She exhaled the frustration. Her scrunched up face fell passive. She could at least try to have self-control?


Sep 03, 2017 07:15 PM — Post #5

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151202
Adrian is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Adrian Vibe
 

He listened, carefully, to the words spoken by his new companion. Perhaps friend, if she wanted to call herself that. Adrian wouldn’t go there, though. But he was interested in what she had to say, and did care. Possibly because she did seem to be similar to himself. Or at least, how he had been, a year ago. Seeking a purpose, a home, something he could to to make himself feel important. Needed.

Adrian bowed his head, taking his eyes off of the other. He didn’t need to see her to know the emotion she spoke with. He could hear it in her tone, the passion, conviction. ”I know what you mean. I wanted things too. I wanted to be important to someone.” He blinked. But everyone he had known, had gone away. There was nothing left here.

He wondered if it was because he had gotten greedy. Adrian had begun to want things for himself, things he never would have, or understand. Like family, or to understand what love truly meant. And experience it, for himself. He had gotten greedy, so he’d lost it all. He’d failed them because deep down inside, he’d been thinking about himself.

That couldn’t be forgiven. His greed. ”I think bad things happen as a way of keeping us in our place. They prevent us from wanting too much for ourselves. ” He shrugged lightly, impassively, as he glanced back toward Epidemic. ”And that’s why I’m alone now. I wanted too much for me, so it was all taken away. If that makes any sense.”

 


Sep 03, 2017 11:11 PM — Post #6

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151207
Name Player
Epidemic J
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

She was silenced by what he said. Epidemic grew warm with his words, but it immediately became embarrassment. Keeping us in our place? That notion was something to fight again, to kick and scream and bite in defense.

Her ears fell back. Her amber eyes narrowed. Her gaze swept back up to Adrian.

“It is harder to consider when you’re a girl that the world thinks you’re inferior.”

Epidemic almost hissed her words, but she refrained. They hit hard against her like punches. Obviously, Adrian couldn’t know what it was like to be constantly looked down on. It REALLY made Epidemic want to give another big speech. Her body even lifted in a great big inhale, ready to exhale a whole lecture.

“But anyway,” Epidemic dismissed her previous statement, leading into a different topic more suitable to her view,“I..”

She stopped speaking for a second, falling silent. Her momentum gone, taken by the wind. Another mood swing, and honey, it was not just because of the season.

He said he was alone.

So, maybe it wasn’t his general personality, maybe he was empty like her.

Epidemic spoke thoughtful,“If you think that you deserve something like that you probably don’t. The only real wolves who deserve to be alone and punished for being greedy are the ones who never think about that kind of stuff..”

Or she needed it to be because knowing the right words to say was a constant, endless struggle for her. Epidemic wanted to comfort Adrian, this almost backwards reflection of herself.

Again, she spoke with a burning passion that spread through her body and made her feet tingle. “The world is big and out of our control, but anybody has the power to shape themselves and their place in it..”

The weird part about it though is actually finding where you should go. There were a lot of places and Epidemic never felt like she fit in, but talking about her philosophy and her loneliness made her swell back up with life and confidence. 

A little whisper in the back of her mind told her to just shut up and listen to Adrian, to heed his words. He wanted too much and it was taken from him. Epidemic wanted too much and she barely had anything at all. But she could change that!


Sep 03, 2017 11:38 PM — Post #7

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[ Edited: Sep 04, 2017 09:10 PM by Epidemic ]
151225
Adrian is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Adrian Vibe
 

Maybe he could’ve tried to be more encouraging, uplifting, or helpful with his words. Could have tried to use them to help or comfort, but there was not very much of that in Adrian. Not anymore. The most he could do was offer his words to the silent night sky and whoever else might be listening.

He blinked once at the mention of being inferior. His current company seemed to think that the world thought she was inferior. Possibly because she was a.. she? That didn’t make any sense. Who would think that? It was an awfully narrow minded way to look at things.

Adrian gave a disapproving little shake of his head. ”I don’t think that you’re inferior because.. you’re a girl.” But he could relate. Not to the being a female portion of it, of course.. but to the feeling in general. It seemed as though Epidemic had prepared to say something else, but stopped herself at the last moment.

He tipped his head, confused, but said nothing. If he thought he deserved something like that, he probably didn’t. The only ones who deserved to be alone were the ones who did not think like that.

It was an interesting point, and a fair point. One Adrian could not necessarily disagree with readily. But if it was meant as an attempt to comfort or console him, it was not convincing enough. ”I didn’t start thinking these things until it was too late. I was too focused on me..” Did that mean he deserved this? Probably.

Anybody has the power to make themselves and a place in the world. He nodded, thoughtful. ”I used to think that, too. But the world has just as much power to shape us. Maybe even more. Don’t let me discourage you, though.” The words she was saying clearly meant something to her, however, and Adrian didn’t want to be a catalyst that caused somebody else to sink to his viewpoint.

If Epidemic wanted to hold out hope that she could forge a place in the world, more power to her. Adrian wished her well.


Sep 04, 2017 12:59 AM — Post #8

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151517
Name Player
Epidemic J
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

“I don’t think that you’re inferior because.. you’re a girl..”

Good. Epidemic agreed. In fact, she was a woman. She cursed herself a little for saying ~girl~. Epidemic shifted a little uncomfortable, a little of under pressure for being assumed into a place of equity.

Nor did she know what to say for Adrian’s expressed… remorse? or was it guilt? What’s the difference to Epidemic? Instead, she gave an understand glance and a slight nod. She could relate to that on an emotional level.

She gave a playful shrug, a weak smile. “You’re right.. if the world is stronger than your force, what good is living like that when you can find importance in something that you enjoy..”

Maybe she wasn’t as bad off as she thought. Talking about her feelings and her views made her feel more alive, but what about Adrian? She certainly felt much better.

“How it feels to live knowing that the world is bigger and more powerful than you and that you’re insignificant is sad…” She paused, spreading her toes into the cold snow,“And true. But it’s like living with a purpose, even it feels meaningful, but is meaningless, feels better… ya know?”

She stumbled over her words, not sure if it made sense grammatically, but the conviction rose with her voice. Epidemic was sure. Yeah, she knew it was a fallacy to think the way she did, but she couldn’t see another way.

Epidemic chuckled a little,“That made… sense.. right?”


Sep 04, 2017 09:26 PM — Post #9

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151621
Adrian is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Adrian Vibe
 

There was nothing left for him to say, and so he simply sat silent with golden eyes averted, gazing out toward the first. An ear flicked in the direction of his present companion was the only indication that he was listening. More attentively than it appeared, as well.

Admittedly, he wasn’t entirely sure what point she was trying to make. It was probably just an abstract way of telling him the same old cliches - don’t give up, just be yourself, et-cetera. It was a message Adrian could appreciate, but did not believe was applicable to himself. There was nothing about his life anymore that he enjoyed. No purpose to his existence. So what was the point? Why was he still here?

He knew that he couldn’t answer that question.

”Yes. Right, it made sense.” Adrian affirmed with a nod that might’ve been a little too enthusiastic looking. At least it seemed like his attitude hadn’t come off on her. That was good. Just because he was pointless didn’t mean everybody else had to think they were, too.

”Where do you intend to go from here?” He questioned, hoping to change the topic of discussion. But he was also curious. Surely, he hoped, Epidemic did not intent to continue following him into the nothingness north of here, once he got around to going there?


Sep 05, 2017 10:51 AM — Post #10

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152880
Name Player
Epidemic J
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

(( I apologize for the wait ))<33

Perhaps it was the respect she was given that gave a sudden shift in mood. She felt like Adrian understood, he appeared to. Of course, he was a little dry with buoyancy, though it was no problem.

With a new burst of confidence, Epidemic replied heartily, a warmer smile touching her lips, wiggling her tail,“I don’t have a direction, but..” She gave one of her typical shrugs, but perhaps, a little more carefree.

“I can wander around with you? I’ve never been all the way up north..?” She posed questions to Adrian, testing if that moody Molly and grumpy Grandpa could be a traveling duo. In his silence, maybe she fit her own ideas, while placing those rose colored glasses over a pair of amber eyes.

All she cared is that she felt better, and that she could bounce back from where she originally was.


Sep 10, 2017 09:45 PM — Post #11

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152985
Adrian is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
Name Player
Adrian Vibe
 

He watched Epidemic, his expression a careful mask of neutrality. She seemed like a nice wolf. Good, pleasant. The old Adrian probably would’ve liked her. As it were now though, he couldn’t quite understand why she still wished to remain in his presence.

She had been through something, that much, he could tell. There was definitely a level of understanding between them that might be appealing. Except she obviously believed that she could make things better for herself, whereas Adrian did not. Why then, did she want to just.. wander around with him? Was it truly because she had nothing better to do, or were there other reasons?

”If you follow me.. that is your choice. I’d just like to know.. why? What is there, about me..” He questioned guardedly, at first. Adrian wanted to know just what the hell was so appealing about him that made this woman want to stick around. If anything. Because if she really was just following him since she had nothing better to do, Adrian did not want that.

”But I’ll be honest. I intended to go north so I could be alone. Away from everyone. So if you’re only following me because you’ve nothing better to do, I’d recommend that you stop. Whatever it is you’re looking for, you won’t find it traveling with me.” Adrian did not waver, his eyes focused solely, perhaps almost pleadingly on the other. He’d just thrown a lot of information out there for Epidemic to consider.

His entire goal for coming here had been to get away from everyone. It was only fair that she knew this, so she could make a decision accordingly.


Sep 11, 2017 04:42 PM — Post #12

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153040
Name Player
Epidemic J
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

His response was honest, in fact a little saddening. It wasn’t that he disrespected her pride, or anything, he was being blunt, but his words still stabbed at her. Maybe it was her? All confused and emotional? Ready to be the victim? Or maybe honesty with oneself and another is a sad reality.

With a weakened smile, Epidemic replayed the warm rush of confidence and direction that came over her. Insecurity no more! She could go over everything she said wrong at another time! Not now! She was caught up in her own world again, but his almost hurtful accusing words had a tinge of familiarity.

“I’m not looking for anything specific, Adrian.” She spoke a little bitterly, because he did hurt her pride. Did she LOOK like an idiot?! Yeah, she really did not have anything better to do… But it wasn’t the point. Though, she did shy away slightly.

“I think that you’re interesting… even if you’re a little crabby.. I like to be around others, but not just another loud mouth…”

Truly, she had to stretch… what made her want to travel with Adrian? Because Kyoren gave her a death threat and two wolves against one was better? Or maybe it was because Adrian gave an ounce of respect that didn’t float up and down on the waves of another outgoing personality that Epidemic would see as denial.

Simple, solemn Adrian. He would have other interesting things about himself!

Epidemic let her words rolled surely, spilling from her lips,“I like that you’re a chill guy…” She shrugged her shoulders,“I may not look like it, but I’m an asshole, even if I have big du- dreams. That may or not be dumb.”

After she spoke, she held in her breath. He was going to tell her that she was annoying and dumb and a stupid bitch. Epidemic wouldn’t ask…. no, wait, she would ask eventually…if he didn’t reply with redeemable qualities of one of them.


Sep 12, 2017 12:16 AM — Post #13

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153219
Adrian is currently Inactive. Activate? Inactive
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Adrian Vibe
 

It didn’t make any sense that now, of all times, he met somebody who was so persistent. Epidemic was a stranger to him, and yet, try as he might, he could not get her to just wander away and leave him alone. A single, solitary thought crossed Adrian’s mind. Perhaps he should be a little less subtle about it, then. After a moment, he shoved that thought right back down where it belonged; in the deepest, darkest corner of his mind. The area reserved for the worst kinds of thoughts.

She wasn’t looking for anything specific. It was just nice to be around somebody that, basically, wasn’t a jerk or an idiot. So that really was it, wasn’t it? ”There are plenty of other wolves like that, out there. To the south, and east,” he informed, attempting to keep his tone from growing potentially snappish. He owed this younger woman that much, at least. She hadn’t done anything bad or wrong. Adrian would be happy to point her in a more specific direction, or provide a specific destination if she so desired. Because solitude, at this point, really was all he wanted.

Former Adrian might’ve been a chill guy, who didn’t care if anybody traveled along with him, but this Adrian was different. He was only chill because he didn’t care anymore. Not about himself. He gave his head another little shake.

”And if you want those dreams to come true, you’ll want to stay away from me.” He paused, finally relenting in his uncharacteristic stare at the other. At once, all of his energy seemed depleted. It was as if he didn’t even have the desire to keep his head lifted in her direction. ”But I don’t think you’re.. um, what you said you were.” Because even in this dismal state, he wasn’t going to repeat that particular word.


Sep 12, 2017 05:06 PM — Post #14

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153394
Name Player
Epidemic J
Achievements (?)
None yet!
 

Epidemic wasn’t try to /sell/ herself to this guy. She wasn’t about to give a sales pitch about how amazing she was.

Shifting her hinds beneath her, Epidemic’s face spasmed, before knitting into thought. This was just like with Kyoren. She wanted to prove him wrong about her… that she was important and desirable, now Adrian wanted her to articulate it. She could just /show/ him honestly.

Giving a huff, she looked directly at Adrian,“But… I am talking to you right now and I am getting to know you right now..? I don’t wanna go and have to get to know another wolf.” Epidemic tried not to let a sense of sass bump into her words, but they did. It wasn’t that they were directed at Adrian, though. She liked him, he was chill, which meant she could be loud. Too many loud personalities made her feel uncomfortable.

Puffing her chest out proudly, her russet fur bristled with self-importance,“And my goals are based on me, not really you.”

Epidemic smiled cockily for a moment before dropping the act like one’s bag after a long day of work. Sheepishly, Epidemic replied,“But thanks for not considering me an asshole…”


Sep 13, 2017 02:53 PM — Post #15

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